Nest of Salt

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

can't sleep again

I'm up and can't seem to sleep.
i'm re-taking my driver's test tomorrow. i'm pretty sure i'll pass . . . this time. i hope i do. it would really suck if i didn't. i need a cigarette. i'm getting all cravy and stuff. i think i've become obsessed with a song. no joke, i think i'm too fargone, now, for help. i don't care if you don't like it, you think the band sucks, or you have any kind of opinion about it. you are an insignificant speck in that which is this universe - especially mine. i've become obsessed with the song called 'meant to live' by Switchfoot. if you have never heard it, find it and listen to it. if you really do that, then thanks.

i guess i should go to bed. my test is at 8:45 tomorrow morning . . . well, today. sweet dreams and beautiful nightmares. thanks for reading.

Monday, July 26, 2004

art juice returned

hey there faithful reader!
i've got it! i've got my art juice back. well, maybe not back, but today i made a copy that wasn't really meant to be a copy of my first picture. i had the tree in the first picture stuck in my head, but the sky was different and the grass was different, so i drew it. it came out pretty good. i still need to add a little something the sky, but it's there. i feel pretty good and i'm not that hungry, so that's a good sign, too.

i hope you are liking this blog i started. i hope so. i mean, it would suck to think that i am the only one who reads it and likes it. my pants are all colorful again. it's nice. i need a shower. not that i stink or anything like that, but i feel kind of dirty just because i have pastels all over me. it's nice. there's this art gallery down the street that i was thinking i might try to find out some more info on. i think that you can call them and book the place for like a week or two. i think that they let you showcase your stuff and i think that might be cool. heh, everyone could go see the jesseka collection. heh heh. i wish . . . or do i? what if everyone who went really hated my stuff? wow, i'd be crushed. well, forget that idea. i'll just show off my work to everyone who comes over.

well, i suppose that's about it for today. thank you for reading!

Friday, July 23, 2004

it's a new day

hello again.
so, i'm here again. writing worthless nothingness and you are reading it. thanks. i broke the zipper on these pants that i'm wearing. oops. man, there is absolutely nothing to do here. this kid dakota and his friend adam hung out with us yesterday. it was fun. adam, the kid's friend, isn't really a kid, though. it felt like he was, though. he's like 20 or something like that, so i'm younger than him, but it felt like he was dakota's little friend still. i guess that's weird. well, i really don't have anything to say, so i'm going to go find something fun to do. maybe i'll eat a chimichanga. those things are so awesome. bye.
thanks for reading!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

sitting again

and so i sit, on the red couch again. i feel as if i have so much to say, but the words are stuck inside. i bet that sounds ridiculous. i want to sleep, but my eyes won't shut and my mind won't stop thinking. the moon is super tiny tonight. i guess if i can't stop thinking and the words are stuck, i should talk about other things. my toes are cold and my cigarettes are getting stale. i don't know how much longer i can complain. i wish the balcony light-bulb would work. everything in this apartment keeps breaking or going out. the pond outside is nice, though. well, i think i'll stop for now. bye.
thanks for reading!

yipee

hey there!
it's me, again . . . but then again, who else would it be?
i beat my old solitaire score big time!!! 6633 in 115 seconds!!!! woohoo! that is definitely my plus for the day. i tried to draw with my new pastels and i think i've run out of art juice. well, i guess it's good that it stopped now and not in the middle of a picture.  that would have made me a little angry. now that i have nothing left to draw, i find myself running out of words to say, music notes to play, cigarettes to smoke, however, my music is up and coming. well, music that is already made and put on a cd. i'm listening to Switchfoot a lot and Placebo, too. when i get angry or whatever, i listen to my old slipknot, mudvayne, atdi (at the drive-in), lost prophets, or whatever my anger pulls me to. most of the time i just get up and sit outside on the balcony. i can't drive the car (the new . . . used, white miata) because one of the spark plugs keeps coming loose.  whateva.
i've also been pondering religion a lot. whenever i feel that music isn't going to help, i think and think and think about my life when it's over. i try to believe that there is some kind of higher being, but my mind and the rest of me just can't see how that could be true. i don't buy it. if you knew me, i think you could understand my reasons for it. moving on . . .
i miss my friends; my old ones, my new ones, my cousins, and rocky j's. i'd like to see them all again soon. i think it's time for a road trip.
thanks for reading!!!

Monday, July 19, 2004

i've been away

yep, away.
i decided not to care about my grammar and things. whateva. i've got a new addiction. their name is Switchfoot (they deserve the big S). i guess my addiction is kind of odd considering that they're kind of a christian band and i'm kind of anti-religion. whateva. i dig them.
 
i bought new pastels. there are now 36 colors to choose from, which is better than my 12. i'm happy. i've got my music and now i've got my pastels. i've also got more chimichangas. i love those things. their so good. whateva. i'm looking forward to drawing all day tomorrow. i want to experiment with my new colors and see what i'm capable of. that'll be fun. oh yeah!!!! i wrote a new poem. it's more whiny little baby stuff, but whateva. i'm going to turn it in to poetry.com. if you want to see it, go to it, then search for me: Jesseka Villarreal-Apelo. enjoy what you find. i'll go for now. bye bye.
thanks for reading!

Saturday, July 10, 2004

What's New With Me

I'm sure you care what's new with me and because I know this, I am writing this blog . . . nnnow. So those frames I got for the pictures, well, they're up all over the apartment. Our place looks all artsy. Oh yeah, who's bad? I'm bad. Sorry. So, I've decided that I'm going to try to make doubles of some of the pictures I'd like to give as gifts. I hope the doubles come out as good as the originals. If they do, then maybe I'll give the originals as gifts instead of the copies. We'll see.

I love Futurama. Hee hee! Anyway, DO THE BENDER! Okay, okay. That's it . . . for now. GREAT NEWS!!!!! I can tie my hair into a full pony-tail now! It's a little more than a poof like it was the last time I checked. I'm sooooo happy! See? (I'm smiling really large.) Okay, I'm done for now. See ya later!
Thanks for reading!

More About Me

Hello again!
I went and bought some frames for my "work." They look nicer now, but they don't feel like my work anymore. It's like, now they're easier to look at or "show off" (in my husband's words), but I really didn't want to show them off. I wanted to put them in some kind of glass thing and send them to people as gifts. I think that giving them away as gifts is a nice idea. Well, whatever, they're in frames now.

I can't sleep. I wish I could. I tried to think of new pictures to make, but could only come up with one. So, I'm watching a bunch of bad b-movies on one of the twelve Showtimes we have. It sucks having so many channels and not seeing anything good on. I'm beginning to hate television. It offers so little compared to music, writing, reading, or drawing. Well, I suppose I have gone on long enough. Sorry to waste your time today.
Thanks for reading!

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Art and Me

So, I started to work with pastels. It's going surprising well. I get mad or in one of my "funks" (Hank Hill), I take my construction paper or this light cardboard paper, grab my pastels, then head out to the balcony. I've got this little stereo, alarm thing that plays CDs, so I use it to jam to some good tunes while I go into artist mode. I've noticed that the people across the courtyard from our balcony have started to come out when they hear my music blaring outside. I think they like the music, but who knows. Maybe they like to go outside and smoke a cigarrette at the exact time that I'm out there. Meh, what are ya gonna do?

So far, I have a total of . . . seven pictures. I've got six here and one is in Houston with my great friend Thomas. The six that I have here are kind of here and there with their . . . whatever you wanna call it. What I mean is three of them are natural scenes, three of them are abstract, but still kind of natural, and the last one is . . . I guess it's natural, too. Hmmm, that bothers me. I don't want all of them to be natural scenes or natural scenes with some abstraction in them. I'd like them to mean more than what you see. I know that I've got that in, maybe, three of them. Whateva!

Since I brought up the pictures, I may as well tell you what they look like.

1) This one is on the paper in a portrait fashion. My first one, the one that Thomas has, is a lone, dead tree on the top of a hill. The grass is green and goes up, I guess, just under half of the page. A bright-red sun is behind it going down or coming up . . . no one really knows . . . I don't think I named this one.

2) My second one is something like the first one, but it centers on a sunset I saw recently in East Texas, near Tyler. There is one dead tree to the left of the sun, and is much smaller than the first. The grass is kind of dark-green, but has light-green highlights here and there. It's nice. This one is also in portrait style. We can call it "A New Day."

3) My third is kind of dark and more abstract than natural. It's on red construction paper, so I let that work with me. This one is landscape in style and I call it "A Broken Heart at Sea." An inch and half of the bottom is ocean. I made it dark in some areas, and light in others. Above it and to the left side, is a broken heart that is badly broken, but the pieces are not too far apart. I let the black color of the heart run the pieces together very lightly. I colored a good portion of the background black as well, but left a thick outline of red around the heart. Above the heart and to the right, there is a whisp of white cloud that also has an outline of red around it, but it isn't as thick.

4) My fourth is called "Supernova." A supernova is a huge and powerful explosion in outer space. In making this one, I was actually trying to make like a dart-board looking thing or swirly thing, I screwed up, and Supernova was born! I used yellow for the center, then orange around it, then red, the blue, then green, then black. I blended like hell and added light-blue for the light emited by the center. It looks cool, I think. That one is in portrait style.

5) This one was more like an experimental flower that went wrong. I planned to make a flower that had flames, rather than petals. Half of it was going to be blue flame and the other half was going to be red flame. I didn't exactly figure how many petals, and so "Wood and Fire" came about. It is on black construction paper, which is the sky and about half of the way down, the grass begins. In the center of the page (landscape style), is a tree stump. Fallind behind the stump is a four-pointed, blue, flaming sun.
A good mistake I think.

6) I did these next two about ten minutes ago. "Grand-daddy Falls" is an actual place. It's located in the Green Belt in Austin, Texas. The waterfalls in this picture aren't the falls that are called Grand Daddy Falls, but I figured that it was okay to call it that. This picture is landscape and on pink construction paper. The falls are directly in the center and have dark-brown and black rocks to either side of them. There are two falls in the picture, one on top of the other. A river is feeding into the falls and has trees on the sides of it. To the right of the river and trees, there is a light trail leading to the falls. An orange sun is sinking behind the horizon into a red sky. This one gave me some trouble. It used to be my favorite.

7) I'm not too proud of this one. It was extremely simple to make. There is a green pasture that has a small creek that cuts into it on the left. To the right of the creek, there is a weeping willow tree. There are dark-grey, blackish clouds above and behind the tree. Rain is falling, but I screwed up on the blending, so it doesn't look too natural. This one is landscape and on light-blue construction paper. I call it "Weeping for Rain."

So that's about all I've been up to lately. I hope you can picture these . . . pictures pretty vividly. Thanks for reading!