A different man, a different situation... then why the same feelings? You'd think my mind would be able to understand the difference and to change the feelings to the correct feelings to have. As much as I keep telling myself that he'd never do the things that Donald did... I know better. And its killing me. I wish I could just erase my memory and just be that naive again. I want to believe that he'd never look at another woman the way he looks at me. I want to believe that its me he thinks of when he's away. How do I go about that? Its so hard when the memories are so strong and the situation is so similar. He even says the same things. Very eerie and hard to let it all go. I want to just ... Run... I'm so scared that I'm walking the same path and what's worse is that I knew it in the beginning. I knew I was jumping into the military wife life again and its all the same. The only thing that's changed is the face and the voice that goes with it. Its all the same words and the same bullshit lies and the same arguments. Who knew that I'd do this to myself. And so I sit here... in the same 'prison' that I thought was over years ago. I can't talk to him for fear of 'starting an argument' and I can't speak my opinion because 'it'll just lead to an argument'. So... I hold my tongue and suck in all the anger and all the words that want to escape and wait for the day that I, too, may be able to speak freely and no one stab me in the throat with their judgement or their fear of what the truth holds. I sit and wait until that day comes or for the day that I die... whichever comes first...