My love is music

We have to give the dog back. He's costing us money that we don't have. It really sucks, 'cause I really like him (apart from all the little doggy messes all over the apartment). How does the television know what song I wanted to hear? That was odd. I was thinking about that song "Last Kiss" that Pearl Jam re-made, then it was on. How cool." I lost my love, my life that night. Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? The lord took her away from me. She's gone to heaven, so I've got to be good. So I can see my baby when I leave this world." I like that song. It is a little sad, but that's okay. Life is sad and I love the way that music can capture that sadness and make it sound so. . . beautiful.

You know, I can't say that anything means as much to me as music does. I don't just hear music. I can feel it. It goes through me and pulls at this wonderful energy from inside. If I'm sad and I listen to something up-beat, I'm fixed. Sometimes, I can listen to music and let my sadness or anger go through the music. I let the music carry it away, even if it is a sad song when I'm sad. Nothing does that for me, but music.

June 30, 2004
Good news! My husband, a friend of ours, and I are on the long journey of making music. I've been putting some stuff together on the keyboard and Kyle has been adding some guitar into it. Donald has been attempting to write lyrics and they aren't all that bad. He's trying super hard and it shows. Well, until something else comes up to where I want to add stuff here... bye!

Drown Inside

Could you ever know the way it feels?
When your soul is tearing at you from inside,
Or your heart wants to scream out for freedom?
Could you ever know how hard it is?
To watch you smile and laugh aloud
And look so happy without me?
I hope you can and I hope you will.
I'd like to see you drown inside, like me.
I'd like to see you struggle, just a little.
If only I could be honest now.
I would tell you my deepest, darkest secrets.
I'd let you see me at my most vulnerable,
But would you flinch or show emotion?
Could you ever?
I think not.

This is that poem I wrote. I made it all perrrrrtty and what not. I hope you like it.  

This is my first tattoo... I think this was one of the only times I was actually happy ever. 

More Than My World

For more time than it takes a tear drop to fall,
for more than the distance to the sun,
for more than the world, the stars, or the universe,
I hold on to a dream-the dream of you.

As the sand begins to wither,
and the temperature continues to rise,
while the wind still constantly changes,
I hold on to my dream-my dream of you.

With a whimpered 'Hello,'
And a whispered 'Good-bye,"
With a loss of breath,
And a skipped heartbeat,
I let go of a dream, my dream-of you.

That was my latest work. I hope you like it. Whoever 'you' are. Enjoy this blog. Bye.